The pain is almost unbearable from the constipation from chemo/radiation. This has been the hardest for me to deal with. It brings me to my knees and puts tears in my eyes. I don't know if it's in part because of my stomach ulcer which barely had time to heal or if it's just a combination of everything.
I am starting to loose a little hair. Not chunks, but when I rub my head hair falls out when it didn't before. If I keep rubbing it keeps falling out so I guess I won't rub my hair Ha! That could get worse before it gets better, I have no idea nor do I really want to worry about it.
Now that I'm finished with chemo/radiation therapy, I hopefully will start feeling better. They say it will take a few weeks for it to all wear off as it keeps working a while. I'm ready for it to be better NOW!
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| 25 zaps in my lung and I guess they think I deserve an award! ughhh |
I have an appointment Monday with the Medical Oncologist - which will probably be my final follow up appointment with her for a while. Then I have an appointment on Wednesday, the 27th with the Cardiothoracic and Vascular Surgeon, Dr. Mawulawde. Not sure, maybe he is ready to set a surgery date to take my lung. He is the one who wanted radiation and chemo to shrink the tumor to make sure there were no "feelers" that they couldn't see. So, if this is the case, he will take my upper left lobe of my lung - and hopefully I will be cancer free. This is all so overwhelming at times.
I don't think I have ever said "why me" because why not me? I smoked cigarettes for 40 years. I caused my own problems. Now, I suffer the consequences of my actions.
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Who gets cancer?
Nearly 1 out of 3 people in the United States will have cancer during their lifetimes. (wow)
Cancer can happen at any age, but nearly 9 out of 10 cancers are diagnosed in people ages 50 and older. People of all racial and ethnic groups can get cancer.
Why me?
The first question that comes up for many people with cancer is, “What did I do wrong?” or “Why me?” Because doctors don’t know for sure what causes cancer in most cases, many people come up with their own ideas about why they have it.
Some people believe they’re being punished for something they did or didn’t do in the past. Most people wonder if they did something to cause the cancer. Some think that if they had done something differently, they could have prevented it.
If you’re having these thoughts, you’re not alone. They are common among people with cancer. But cancer isn’t a punishment for things you did or didn’t do. Don’t blame yourself. It’s painful, and it rarely helps. It’s almost never possible to know exactly what caused the cancer. Focus instead on taking good care of yourself now – both your body and your mind.
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Did I cause my cancer?
We don’t yet know what causes all cancers. We do know that there are certain things called “risk factors” that affect your chance of getting some diseases.
Some risk factors for cancer can be changed and others can’t. Risk factors that can’t be changed include your age, sex, and family history. Things that can be changed are things you do, such as whether you use tobacco or drink alcohol, what you eat, and how much sun you get. Other risk factors are linked to things in the environment that cause cancer.
But risk factors don’t tell us everything. Having a risk factor, or even many risk factors, doesn’t mean that you’ll get cancer. And some people who get cancer may have few or no known risk factors. Even if a person with cancer has a risk factor, it’s very hard to know what part that risk factor may have had in causing the cancer.
Can cancer be inherited?
Some cancers can run in families, but cancer isn’t passed on from parent to child the same way that height and eye color are. While some cancers do have genetic risk factors, most people with cancer didn’t inherit it, nor do they pass it on to their children.
(American Cancer Society)
Thursday Blessings.......It's almost the weekend! :)
"When we face an impossible situation, all self-reliance and self-confidence must melt away; we must be totally dependent on Him for the resources." Anne Graham Lotz
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