Saying Goodbye to Alex.......

He seems to want to be where I am. This is happening more often now. Sometimes I hate to get up to go sit in another room because I know he is going to struggle to get up to come to where I am.

In the last few days he has begun peeing in the house as he is standing. I don't think he realizes that he is doing this. This really hurts. The pooping while he is lying down or sleeping is almost so common now that I don't even think much about it any more - but the urinating now.....

He doesn't want to go outside anymore. He seems depressed a lot. Still has some fun days but few and far between anymore. He just lays around the house panting and seeming stressed and anxious throughout the day. Doesn't have a big appetite but does eat when I put the bowl of kibble mixed with sardines in front of him and seems to enjoy it. Still drinks water. I always make sure he has cold, fresh water in front of him.

He is still able to eventually get up and when up he can walk - although not well and not for long.

I don't think he has quality life right now. But what is so hard is that I see life yet in his beautiful eyes. I pray God takes him peacefully in his sleep. I know I will have to make a dreaded decision soon and it's making me sick thinking about it....

Anticipatory mourning.....That is where I am. He's not just a dog. He is my Alex. My friend. My protector, my buddy and my Bubbie......God please help me get through this the tears won't quit flowing and my heart hurts.......

Alex in better days....beautiful as ever....