So coming up in September it will be six months since my sister Tanya died. I've been mourning the entire six months and I'm sure more to come. I imagine, I will mourn her until I die.
I am learning to live without her. I just take each day by day. There isn't a day that has gone by these past months that I haven't thought about her. Sometimes she's the first person I think of when I open my eyes in the morning, before I'm out of bed.
During these warm nights we have been having, I find myself sitting outside by the pond late at night just looking around thinking about her.
My brother came to visit for about four days earlier this month. We had a wonderful visit! It's the first time we have gotten together like this, just my brother and I. I wish Tanya could have been there with us - but I'm sure she was there somewhere because we talked about her a lot :)
I don't cry everyday anymore. I cry about once a week now. One of those heart-hurting sobs. I get teary eyed often when I think of her. This morning I thought about a comment she made and smiled and then laughed, then cried.
Life goes on for us, the living, here on earth. I want to be alone more than ever and the people I do see I want to be positive, compassionate, caring people. I don't want any negativity in my life anymore. I don't want any sadness in my life anymore and where there is sadness I want to see love as well.
Anyway, I'm done for now :)
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